Dr. Kilpatient BIOGRAPHIES
Who is who for you who want to know all the who
INCARNATION XII
PTAHMB
Creator of Dr. Kilpatient and Pretty Fly Designs, he's the tall skinny Polack what writes (most) the songs and lyrics. He is the lead vocalist, keyboardist, glockenspielist, alto and soprano recorderist, gourdist, jaw harpist, autoharpist, tarana-ist, electronic drummist, pots and pannist, and stylophonist. He also plays drums and a South American flute purchased in Amish Country. Ptahmb (prounounced "Tom") is also responsible for the Dr. Kilpatient/AFU logo and the Dr. K/AFU face, as well as all album covers (except for Med School) and other miscellaneous graphics, even this very website. A former member of the Socialists Party he has also performed with the Ganges, The Expression Session, and Jiant. In his spare-time-passed he performed with the Around the Bend Players as musical director and improvised comedy actor, as well as many other ultimately monetarily unrewarding community and professional acting gigs. He has a degree in Interactive Media, and is currently residing in Portland, OR with his legally binding girlfriend, Girlfriend.
NATHAN WEGNER
As heard on:
Septennial

Bio pending. Don't rush genious.
Guitar, bass, sax, flute, percussion, keys
TRACY RUMSEY
As heard on:
Septennial

Bio pending - wait for it, wait for it...
Vocals
TEEN LAQUEEFA

Crystal really had no idea what to think of Kilpatient at first…and then she starting banging him. She takes no credit for inspiration, for Kilpatient was all in B.C. She may contribute to some of the woman hating lyrics and sometimes if u listen close enough u feel the squishing of her “pantily soup”. Is that crizistalicious or what?
Dr. Kilpatient ALUMNI
All the who is who who isn't on the present who is who
JASON FUCKING CHAMPION

Originally from the planet Alpha Centauri IV, “Jason” as he’s known on this planet plays the bass guitar as his primary instrument. In the past he has played guitar, Roland GR-33 guitar synth, Roland Fantom, Nord Lead 2, JP8000, FS1r, TX81z, ESQ-1,DJX, laptop, gourd, tarana, drum machine, kazoo, ukelele, autoharp, pots & pans, djembe, dumbek, tambor, djun djun, harp and has even disguised himself as Human for a bit of vocal improvisation. He also has his own solo project, titled Xangis. He is slowly working on his degree in Mad Science with a minor in Xenophrenology. Xangis really needs a lift home, so if you know any spacecraft headed toward Alpha Centauri, drop him a line. Currently he's plugging away at his new bidniss venture, Contrarian Printing. It's a fine site for Kilpatient shirts and so much more.

ERIK BARDWELL

Born and raised in and disillusioned by Toledo, OH, grew up on pop and hairbands until he discovered the art of progressive music. Not only a drummer, but also a guitar player and a chronic masturbater. He plays Parchessi and Pictionary with himself as well as with a few imaginary friends. He doesn’t believe in going to college because even with a degree you still have trouble finding a job (unless they have a major in porno directing- then he might change his mind). He uses Tama drums (until he can afford something better), DW hardware, Zildjian cymbals, Remo heads, Vater sticks and 2-ply tissues with aloe. He also plays Ibanez guitars, Crate amps, Ernie Ball strings, Dunlop picks, an assortment of effects and K-Y Jelly. He has also written, arranged and instructed Indoor Percussion programs for Maumee and Delta High Schools as well as the soundtrack to Harry Pooper and The Sorcerer’s Bone.
JEFFERSON MITCHELL DRUDGE

Jefferson Mitchell Drudge came up playing upright in the classical and jazz ghettos of Toledo, Ohio. Since going electric, Jeff strives for new and usual tones of all types. "My association with Dr. Kilpatient offered me the opportunity to explore a pallette of sharp yet gooey bass tones in an environment where the rules are routinely broken." Jefferson now slings his 6- and 4-string dinner snaggers in the San Francisco Bay area, appearing in-studio and onstage with such diverse artists as Paris King (check out Paris King Band on Myspace.com), Ben Barnes (violinist-Deadweight, Les Claypool's Frog Brigade, Mr. Bungle), and the East Bay's own Country Hurricane.
LEE LESLIE

"Leo has the drive of a drill hammer, the determination of a bulldozer, the guts of a lion, and talent, and talent, and talent."

- Lou Adler

Visit Leo at www.leo.altpro.net
MARC WILLIAMS

aka The Potentate or Highfalutin Potentate
or Exhalted Potentate of Love

Born July 17th 1975 in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
6th grade Tenor Sax at West Hernando Middle School, Spring Hill, Florida
7th Grade Tenor Saxophone Ottawa Hills Junior High, Toledo, Ohio
Began guitar in 1994
1995-96 conducted Home Rock experiments at the legendary swinging Inwood house in West Toledo
Founded Somnambulist with painter Matt Muirhead (Keyboards) and Dr. Jay Roman (Saxophone) in 1999.
Time spent rehearsing in abandoned warehouse at South Michigan & Lafayette shared with painter Johnny Watson. It was cold. Building later sold to make expensive condos near new Mudhens Stadium. Gentrification challenges artists once again.
Began playing shows in 2000 with Keith Mounts on drums. First performance at Frankie's Inner City astounds with radical heavy version of Blue Trane.
You Are Sleeping is released to friends and the cognoscentti later in 2000. Noted for excellent cover art by Matt Muirhead.
The Ambient Improvisation Collective is formed by punk rock hero drummer Todd Swalla. A series of shows are booked adding a performer each week. Todd and guitarist Noel Kesey from Weeds from a Perfect Garden are the first to perform. I soon follow on saxophone with Ryan Linky on digeriedoo. Matt Muirhead and Jay Roman also perform. A splinter group including Gene Crawford (guitar & programming) and Joe Brewer eventually travels to Buffalo to play the Big Orbit Gallery
2001, The Socialists Party is formed with the addition of Chef Tim Huff on bass and keyboardist Ptahmb Kordowski. Matt moves to Chicago to pursue artistic interests. Drummer by committee, Keith Mounts, Joe Brewer, and Eric Bardwell.
02/02/02 Seminal performance at the Bottlerocket. The Socialists Party, Expression Session, and Dr. Killpatient. Thus begins my affiliation with The supreme Dada of the Expression Session and the Carnival of the Inane that is Dr. Killpatient. Several combinations or these bands performing together occur with sharing of members and drugs.
Over the next year or so The Socialists Party would perform with other national rock luminaries such as the Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Skeleton Key, Fake Brain, and others.
BRANDON BOLTZ
Brandon is not a bass player, but who really is? Few choose to play bass. More often, a guitar player winds up playing bass because a proper bass player is not available. Such is the way Brandon ended up playing bass for his current band the Wide Awakes. He perpetuated this facade by sitting in with Dr. Kilpatient for the Citi Paper cd release party on 12-5-03 and at the Some Ol' Fashioned Maladies cd release show on 7-23-04. He appears on the Dr. K releases "MF723", "No Thanks To Erik, Live 2003" and on the New World Orderlies release "Why You Wanna Fight the Planet Made of Fish?" where he also impersonates a guitar player, drummer and banjo player. Brandon is the founder of No Focus Records and previously played with the Quantum4, the Oilbirds, and the Crazy Daizies. He has a great respect for Ptahmb's musical prowess and impeccable facial hair.

SEAN P. HERTZSCH
Though not in Kilpatient for long, Mingus Waits provided minimal impact except on the rare jamming experience. In the kitchen, he is not barefoot and the pregnant issue is still up for debate. Now, he is currently working under an alias for the US Government. If you see him in a big steel tub, laugh and point. Otherwise, you can send him recipes at sph74@netzero.net.
BEN SMITH
Original co-founding member.
Turntables, vocals
Know your
NEW WORLD ORDERLIES
link to the NWO page
JEREMY MAHLER
Jeremy fully understands the importance of having a witty and memorable bio but doesn't so much give a flying rat's buttock. He would prefer instead to use this space to point out the fact that, as a musician, he feels somewhat cheated. See, playing guitar is supposed to get musicians laid. That's why we all picked up our instruments in High School. We had nothing else to use in order to persuade the chicas, right? I mean, the jocks had their football and gay sex, the preppy kids had izod and gay sex... the geeks and nerds had nothing (this was, of course, before myspace and blogging). The other day, Jeremy picked up a guitar at home - not only did he not get laid but instead he got a damned powerful poke from a string he forgot to trim. Jeremy has since quit playing music and has instead focused on a more interesting hobby - collecting Christian babies to make wine out of.
BRANDYN RIFFLE

Brandyn Riffle was born in Madrid, Spain in 1522 to a middle-class family of Corsican spice merchants known for their recipes involving spiced yams. At the tender age of twelve, his parents lost him in a game of cards to the leader of a band of Cossacks in the employ of the Spanish monarchy. Taken under the wing of the captain of the Cossacks, he travelled to Russia and began an intensive course of study in Russian culture, language, and the many uses of the potato(e). In 1547, at a palace ceremony celebrating the ascension of Ivan the Terrible as the first Czar in Russian history, Brandyn accidentally killed Ivan in a freak accident involving a coat rack. To cover his misdeed, Brandyn quickly shaved the Czar and glued his beard on his face, and continued his reign with no one the wiser. His Cossack mentor, however, also wanted to be Ivan the Terrible, and after they drew lots, Brandyn handed over the beard to his master and left Russia for adventures on the high seas. After several years of living the pirate life, Brandyn stowed away on a Spanish ship intending to return home. However, the ship was carrying renowned explorer Francisco Vásquez de Coronado west to the New World, and Brandyn joined in his adventures until he was accidentally imprisoned in a cave in the American Southwest while trying to retrieve a cross that Coronado had dropped. He remain imprisoned until he was discovered during the filming of the introduction of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Not being a SAG member though, Director Steven Spielberg decided to edited out Brandyn's miraculous release rather than deal with the Actor's union. Freed to wander around modern America, he settled in Toledo, OH thinking that it was Toledo, Spain. His disappointment matched that of the natives.
LIZ OWENS

A former Miss Utah (1962), Liz is a Rhodes scholar, who wants world peace and that special someone. When away from her duties as rhythm guitarist for Toledo originals The Wide Awakes, she enjoys finger-painting, extreme sports, and needlepoint. She now travels under the assumed identity of "Liz Boltz", heiress to the House of Boltz hardware empire. For amusement, Liz frequently tells her life partner "Brandon" that his mom called again yesterday, and said to say he's wrong.
BLAINE WASHINGTON

Vocals, Harmonica, Improv
JBIRD ROMAN

Repeat Sax Offender
JAMES K. MEEKER

Keyboards, Guitar, Percussion Tracks/Programmer